Chatting to each other

Boys, when you start chatting to a girl, how do you want things to turn out?

  • Do you want to impress her?
  • Get her to like you?
  • Chat with her some more?

OR

  • Do you want to intimidate her?
  • Make her feel embarrassed?
  • Leave her thinking you’re weird?

Believe it or not, most of the chat up lines that boys say to girls can end up putting girls off. Girls and boys have our differences, but we need to meet in the middle when it comes to chatting to each other.

We went out and asked some girls what kind of chat up lines they’ve heard and how it made them feel.

What did they say? How did that make you feel? How would you like to be spoken to?
“Hot spice, what’s your BBM number?”  Uncomfortable, embarrassed  “Hi, how are you?”
“Oi, oi, you.”  Degraded, self-conscious  In standard English
“You’re beautiful still”  Feel over-exposed, as if they’re mocking me.  With respect
“Oi, come here”  Objectified  Like a person
 “Man’s feelin’ you still impress.”  Like laughing and weird.  Like I’m respected.
 They asked for my name and number  Weird and uncomfortable  Want a proper conversation with the person
 “Can I have your PIN you’ve got a body still.”  Embarrassed  With respect
“Hi, my friend likes you, can you rate him?”  Annoyed.  Don’t talk to me unless you have a mature personality.

Who wants to be shouted at in the street? Who wants to be disrespected? Who wants to feel they’re being laughed at?

Boys, if you want to get somewhere with a girl, treat her with respect, find some common ground. If your mates are putting you off, try talking to her on her own.

And girls, if you hear boys talking to you with respect, you’ll be more likely to give them a chance, right? But remember that a lot of boys talk like that to impress their mates – they might just want a nice chat too.

Girls and boys want to feel respected, secure and confident, so let’s talk to each other like people, with respect. Then we’ll be getting somewhere!

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